Proverbs for School Counseling

I just finished The Help, and it was great, but I'll write more on that later.

Today, I'd like to talk about a few proverbs that I can use in my school counseling practice. This morning, I read Proverbs 26 (the proverb of the day), and as I was reading, I kept making connections to a few counseling issues I had with students last year. I wish I would have had these proverbs in my arsenal to help the students think and deal with their situations.

1. "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down."

I wish that I could post this in the Freshman Learning Center. So many arguments could have been resolved MUCH sooner if it wasn't for the incessant gossip that I heard in the freshman class. (Don't think you aren't guilty of it youselves, Upper Classmen. I heard you doing it too.)

2. "As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so a quarrelsome man for kindling strife."

I had two students this past year that were like wood to each other's fire. I would have liked to have used this metaphor to help them think of ways NOT to be wood or charcoal in the future. I think it would have helped them to think, "Am I being wood or am I being a bucket of water in this situation?" I'll have to use it in the future.

Of course, I can't tell kids that these are proverbs from the Bible, but I can still use their wisdom and their words to help kids think about how they are responding and how they'll respond in the future. 

Thirteen Reasons Why

I finished Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher last week. As I read, I could think of several girls in my school who have been the victims of rumors, rumors that were hurtful and degrading.  They could certainly resonate with this book. However, rather than recommend this book to them, I feel the slight need to force-feed it to the rumor-mongers who started or spread these tales.

In case you don't know anything about the book, it is a suspense novel chronicling thirteen events that led up to Hannah Baker's suicide. These events mainly revolve around rumors and incidents that created a false reputation for an innocent girl.

This past year at my high school, it seemed to be all the rage to spread rumors about pregnancy, sex acts, and fights. As this book makes its rounds, I hope that students begin to consider how their words affect others. It also reminded me, as a teacher, that I need to put a foot down on rumors and crude jokes. 

The Catcher in the Rye

I finished The Catcher in the Rye today...for the second time. The first time I read it in high school, and I only remembered bits and pieces of it. This time, I had a much better grasp on the story line...probably due to the fact that I wasn't reading to just find the answers to reading questions.

The first time reading TCITR, I had a bit of a moral crisis because it contained more swear words than I had heard in all of my high school years put together. This time, the swearing did not bother me...it helped me understand the character better.  However, I would still feel uncomfortable about having some of my more morally conscientious students read it.

I'd like to write something profound about the novel, but I'm currently at a loss. Evidently, I need to mull it over more.

I do love how Salinger uses details to create humor...and the voice of Holden Caulfield is very memorable...highly believable throughout. His voice reminds me a bit of a 5th grade student who I used to talk to regularly for my counseling internship "and all." 

Well, more to come on TCITR or my next book... A slightly sad review today :)

Words

I just finished reading The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen in preparation for a stillness retreat that I will be attending at the end of August. This book outlines the difficult practices of solitude, silence, and prayer, but one particular point in the book especially caught my attention:

Henri Nouwen encourages escaping from the wordiness of our world. 

Now, as an English teacher and a lover of reading and writing, this was a blow. Written words, in particular, are a passion in my life. Writing creates life in me, and Nouwen is recommending fleeing from the building blocks of my trade?

Furthermore, words help me know people and help them heal...very necessary for the art of counseling, which I am also quite taken by.

At this point in my reasoning, I had the startling discovery: Henri Nouwen was ruining my entire purpose in this world!

If I were a ______________, maybe words wouldn't be important. I'd love to complete that sentence, but I cannot even think of a job in which words are not vitally important!  

Before dismissing Nouwen's words (ahem, ahem) outright, I managed to take them to heart and even had a chance to practice them almost immediately. A few days after reading this particularly difficult section in the book, I had made plans to spend some time with a friend. She was going to call me on a certain day to decide on our plans. But she didn't call. I called her. She didn't answer. I left a message. She never called back.

I was irked. I had done nothing all day but wait for her to call me back. What a wasted day.

I knew I would see her on Sunday at church, and as I showered that morning, I practiced my speech to her in order to help her understand how poorly she had treated me and how to be a better friend in the future.

However, as I was formulating my assault, I came back to that section in The Way of the Heart. What if I said nothing about it? What if I forgave her in my heart and let this incident slide? I decided to give it a shot.

Not long after we greeted each other, my friend quickly apologized for not calling me back. She had had a beastly day and didn't want to call for fear of projectively ripping my head off. At this point, I could have given her a lesson on proper friendship etiquette, but I just listened with empathy. Why add a burden to what she was already carrying?

Although I LOVE words - adore them, really - I've determined Henri Nouwen is correct. We have SO many words floating around that they have lost meaning or do more harm than good. I'm committing to avoid using words to add a burden to someone's shoulders or to drone on an on (as I'm apt to do at times).

I will use words sparingly and lovingly to bring life to myself and others.