Words

I just finished reading The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen in preparation for a stillness retreat that I will be attending at the end of August. This book outlines the difficult practices of solitude, silence, and prayer, but one particular point in the book especially caught my attention:

Henri Nouwen encourages escaping from the wordiness of our world. 

Now, as an English teacher and a lover of reading and writing, this was a blow. Written words, in particular, are a passion in my life. Writing creates life in me, and Nouwen is recommending fleeing from the building blocks of my trade?

Furthermore, words help me know people and help them heal...very necessary for the art of counseling, which I am also quite taken by.

At this point in my reasoning, I had the startling discovery: Henri Nouwen was ruining my entire purpose in this world!

If I were a ______________, maybe words wouldn't be important. I'd love to complete that sentence, but I cannot even think of a job in which words are not vitally important!  

Before dismissing Nouwen's words (ahem, ahem) outright, I managed to take them to heart and even had a chance to practice them almost immediately. A few days after reading this particularly difficult section in the book, I had made plans to spend some time with a friend. She was going to call me on a certain day to decide on our plans. But she didn't call. I called her. She didn't answer. I left a message. She never called back.

I was irked. I had done nothing all day but wait for her to call me back. What a wasted day.

I knew I would see her on Sunday at church, and as I showered that morning, I practiced my speech to her in order to help her understand how poorly she had treated me and how to be a better friend in the future.

However, as I was formulating my assault, I came back to that section in The Way of the Heart. What if I said nothing about it? What if I forgave her in my heart and let this incident slide? I decided to give it a shot.

Not long after we greeted each other, my friend quickly apologized for not calling me back. She had had a beastly day and didn't want to call for fear of projectively ripping my head off. At this point, I could have given her a lesson on proper friendship etiquette, but I just listened with empathy. Why add a burden to what she was already carrying?

Although I LOVE words - adore them, really - I've determined Henri Nouwen is correct. We have SO many words floating around that they have lost meaning or do more harm than good. I'm committing to avoid using words to add a burden to someone's shoulders or to drone on an on (as I'm apt to do at times).

I will use words sparingly and lovingly to bring life to myself and others.